Explaination of reasons I am anger. (shortened versions)
1.Engagement. Woke me up on my couch. Let’s go shopping. Rushed me, only had 30 minutes before the store closed.
2. After picking out ring, drops me off at my house. Made me feel like he was regreting it, wanted to be alone.
3. Go in the morning to sons game. He walks me over to this rock, says I guess I should ask you to marry me. Lasted 2 minutes. After the game, his son came over and he told his son. Son didn’t have much of reaction. Went to the pool with friends. Spent the night with friend. Wanted to make sure his son heard about our engagement from him and no one else. Understandable, but no one knew but us at this point.
4.He didn’t want to celebrate with me, make love to me. He was only concerned about his son. I didn’t hear anything from him until the next day. I spent my evening having hot choclate with a friend, upset how all this went down.
THAT WAS OUR ENGAGEMENT. NOW HEAR ARE OTHER THINGS THAT HAVE GONE ON THAT HAVE HURT ME.
Beginning of relationship, showed me e-mails to previous girlfriend.
One year later, I found where he had been trying to see where she moved. Directions to her home.
(during this time I was head over heals for him, and was doing everything for him)
Took a balloon ride on his birthday one year, had a friend come back to the house and set up the table with wine ect… He had no interest.
I would put notes in his lunch, in his car, lots of extra things…
I have made special dinners, trying to make it romatic. He blows me off. Computer, son, more important. Even co-workers, strangers.
example: can stop and buy coffee for co-workers, but I have asked him to bring me a flower, bottle of wine, refused. Said not if I ask him, quit asking, might. Did. He never has. All I want is to feel like I matter as much as the computer and his son. I may sound jealous of his son by this, I’m not. A lot has gone on that is unfair., Our wedding even revolved around his son games. He took him to the pool the day of our wedding, in his suit. I didn’t find this out until our honeymoon. I would have thought that our wedding day would have been more important. Sounds like he was rushing around trying to please his son.
Honeymoon, he didn’t want to take a shower with me. Said we’ve already done this.. I brought body chocolate, I made a fool of myself. He wanted to stay in the room. We got massages, but he wanted to do them separate. (had even made the comment that heard guys get arroused when getting massages) I feel the honeymoon was more about a vacationa and rest for him than a couple thing.
Also informed me that he had dropped off this plastic to the women for painting. A previous co-woker. She wasn’t home. Sat on her front porch. Just wanted me to know incase we ran into her and she thanked him. A women I’ve never met. A women he’s had no contact with. Except her calling for a job. Yet, he tells me he knew what the call was about. She was divorced now and her husbands stuff was out of the house. Long story.
But, he didn’t help me get my home sold. He didn’t give me plastic when I needed it for painting. I had asked months prior to this.
When my son asked about the women in mexico. He stated it was easy on the eyes. This is not what I wanted to hear. I wanted him to let my son know in his eyes I was the most beatiful to him.
This is a man who supposily was a marriage counselor for a church at one time. Has read every book. Why isn’t he putting the effort into this marriage? His ex had two affairs on him. He states he was a good husband and faithful.
During our dating relationship he use to feel guily about having sex with me. He would say afterward, we shouldn’t have.
During the first 6 months of marriage he showed little interest in sex with me. I was a little obsessed with his contact with the women he dropped the plastic off to. But I still tried to make romatic evenings. But would become angry when I got no reponse or blown off.
This women had come up to his work to get more plastic at a later date, 1 month later. He wouldn’t tell me anything, only if I directly asked.
He didn’t even tell good friends of his he got married. They e-mailed wanting to know when, where and who? This hurt, I’d been married 9 months at this point.
This plastic women, when I asked him if he told her he was married, he didn’t know. Then at a later date said she called for a job, he told her he was married. Says he hasn’t heard anything from her since.
My logic tells me that he’s still lying. My heart wants to believe him. He isn’t a bad person. But, he doesn’t seem to care about how he makes me feel.
I want very much to forgive and forget. How do I, when I still feel unimportant. How do I trust he’s telling me the truth? There are many more reasons for how I am feeling. But I couldn’t possibly explain it all. Hope th
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It sounds like you feel he is using you and has rejected you, and I’m sorry for that.
You have a couple of choices. You can dwell on the anger or you can decide what you want the future to look like. It sounds like he has checked out of this relationship, and it sounds like you have put a lot of time and energy into re-engaging him. Clearly he does not want it.
You get over the anger by creating the life you want. You move on, day by day or minute by minute if that is what it takes.
Good luck.
I think you’re over-reacting. A LOT.
“shortened version” ??
I will try and read this later when I have more time
First of all the way he gave you the engagement ring was just wrong. I would have called it off all together. Some women need to open there eyes…I mean you had all the signals right from the begining and you still married this man. Start realizing sometimes the men we want are not the men we need…See you could have felt unimportant all by yourself but and not had all the hurt but now your married…I’m not a marriage counselor but I say leave him. He’s not there anyway..run as fast as you can.