Ok. I am getting Married June 2010 i have a half brother who has had a large falling out with my parents and for the most part the rest of our family. I will be having his kids in the wedding (i’ve already talked to his ex-wife and she is 100% behind me in having my niece and nephews in the wedding). His children have never stopped their relationship with us and i want them in my wedding. However, my brother is the type of person that if you can’t help him he dosen’t want much to do with you. Everything from finding out i was engaged and never congratulating me to our sister had to have brain surgery and he NEVER called, wrote or even sent a text carring about her! I of course Love my brother but our dad and him have never worked out the isses they have and i don’t want my wedding to become that place! so i’m really torn on to whether or not invite him… any advice???
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do you know the answer already? if your heart tells you to invite him then I agree
if you dont invite him it wont help in my opinion
I never been in that situation but I reckon you sound like you want to improve things
also – for the kids
please would you be able to help with mine? (not as serious)
If you ask him to the wedding, do you think he would even go? Sounds like he doesn’t want anything to do with your family. If you don’t want your wedding to be ruined, maybe you shouldn’t.. especially since he didn’t even congratulate you.
Be the bigger person and invite him… from what it sounds like, he probably will decline the invitation anyways and you get to go to sleep at night knowing that you did the right thing.
This is the perfect timing to mend the relation with your brother, so go ahead and invite him , life is too short !
well do if you think he might make a scene I wouldnt invite him-however maybe you should talk to your brother instead of writing the problem on yahoo answers
You should invite them
Besides he is your family!
What would make YOU happy? This is YOUR wedding not your parents or brothers or nieces etc.
Talk to your fiance. If you both decide it would be better with him there or vis versa then do that…
Invite him. Based on what you are saying, he probably won’t come anyway.
However, if he does say he’s coming, then you need to have a frank talk with him and the rest of your family (separately of course).
Tell the family that he is invited because he is family too. That he is part of your life, even if you have disagreements with him. Tell them that that this is NOT the time or the place to try to discuss the past issues. Tell them that they don’t have to embrace him like all is forgiven, nor that they even have to like him, but they do have to be civil with him. It’s your wedding, and you get to decide who’s coming.
Tell your brother that he is invited because he’s family. Tell him that this is not you taking sides in the issue. This doesn’t mean you agree with him, or that you agree with mom and dad, just that he’s family and you want him there. Tell him as well that this is not the time or place to fight about the old issue and that if he can’t agree to not discuss it for at least as long as the wedding, that he shouldn’t come. Tell him as well that you don’t expect him to be happy with mom and dad or to pretend like everything is fine. But you do expect him to be civil. It’s your wedding, if he can’t abide by your rules, he shouldn’t come.
It’s a tough situation.
Family is family, no matter what. But this is someone that seems to not care about that.
If it were me I would not invite him for the fact that I’d doubt he would even care or want to go. But you may regret it later if you guys patch things up. Maybe call him and joke a bit and say ‘I noticed you didn’t congratulate me on my engagement’ See how he reacts, if he acts indifferent then don’t invite him. If he apologizes and congratulates you it shows he cares and you might want to invite him.
Hope that helps