I’m getting married this year. the original date was set for aug. 15th 2009, but due to my fh schedule,(he’s in the service) we had to push it back to december 26th 2009. We live in georgia, and we’re having the wedding back home in chicago. My save the date cards we’re sent out last month, and so far everyones reported getting them. My parents went to a birthday party that my aunt threw my dad a few nights ago, and the topic of my wedding came up. all of the family seemed super excited and thrilled except for one of my aunts. she said that she’s decided that she would rather go to mexico instead of my wedding, and maybe she’ll send a gift. should i be upset that i gave her adequate notice and she still decided to do something else? i think she might be jealous because i’m the first one in my family out of all my cousins to have a real church wedding, the rest of them got married in a courthouse, including her daughter. could she possibly be too jealous to come support me? and should i be upset because i’m really not.
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As we have never met and I don’t know anything about you, or your family’s financial situations, let me say this, in relation to you being upset about your Aunt and her holiday plan, you have every right to be upset.
How close are you to your Aunt?? If she lives in the same town as you and you see each other a lot and are very close, then ‘yes’ I would be upset.
But if she lived on the other side of the continent, has little contact with you or the family, then ‘no’. But as she was at your Dad’s birthday party, then you must see her a lot.
Why not invite her to have a cup of coffee, but at a neutral place, like a coffee shop. This way if tempers get stirred up, you will have to behave yourself in public, and just ask her why she is going to Mexico instead.
Maybe she has been planning this trip for a long time and if she has put a deposit on the holiday, she might not be able to get the money back if she cancels.
If it comes to ‘jealousy’ at you marrying in the Church, what was their financial situations at the time of each wedding??? There are so many factors that could be involved, so sit down with her and try and work it out.
But it comes down to this, it is you and your partners day, something special for the two of you to look back on when you are old and grey, to reminisce over.
Have a happy one and good luck.
I find it difficult to believe a grown woman would be jealous of your wedding. I don’t know the circumstances of her trip; perhaps she has to take it then because of vacation time or some such thing. I say give her a break.
BTW, not everybody gets excited about going to a wedding; I know I just consider it a chore.
Don’t know the whole story, but since your date changed, maybe she already had vacation plans set and was waiting for the best time to tell you. Maybe she feels very bad about going on vacation instead of to your wedding. Don’t let this ruin your relationship.
I don’t think she is jealous I just think she’s getting old and she is wanting to do things to make her happy in her older age.
why do you need a bunch of strangers from Yahoo! Answer to tell YOU how you SHOULD be feeling ?
“i think she might be jealous because i’m the first one in my family out of all my cousins to have a real church wedding, the rest of them got married in a courthouse, including her daughter. could she possibly be too jealous to come support me?”
Maybe she’s not jealous? You seem kind of proud of the fact that you’re the first to be having a church wedding, maybe she’s sick of hearing about it? Sounds like you may have alienated some family members by thinking you’re better than them.
Some people are like that and it’s really unfortunate on not only your part but your parent’s and grandparent’s, too. I would be hurt but don’t let some pettiness like that dampen your wedding spirit. If it comes up, just say “That’s your decision. I looked forward to having you there.” Don’t start assuming that she’s jealous; it makes you sound snooty and better than everyone else. Chin up and be proper about the situation. She may change her mind and you’ll see her there.
Was her vacation already set and when you changed your wedding it became a problem?
Does she have a job and needs to ‘put in’ for a set block of time and cannot change it
had she already put money down and will loose her deposit….
You don’t say…..so I can’t say. If her vacation was not in conflict with your original date, and she schedualed according to that, you cannot expect her to change her vacation because you’ve changed your wedding date…
So I can’t say but…
jealous? no….and don’t be so full of yourself. Just because it’s going to be a church wedding and the first in your family doesn’t make it better than the courthouse weddings
This is the flip side of the oft-repeated advice to young brides that you can “Do whatever you want! It’s YOUR wedding!”
Well, your guests can do whatever they want, too — accept your invitation or decline it: it’s their lives.
Think about it: Brides on Yahoo Answers post that they plan to hold second or third “real” weddings; to “register for money and gift cards”; to exclude some family and not others; to choose seating plans or menus with utter disregard for their guests tastes and comfort. For every such self-serving post a half-dozen acolytes recite “go ahead — it’s all about you!” Well, for every such bride there are a handful of aunties reading who are thinking “right, weddings have become meaningless displays of greed and selfishness — I just can’t get all mushy about the idea any more.” And then we decide to go to Mexico.
Probably, you are planning a tasteful, sincere and hospitable wedding. But you are still likely to suffer by association with what weddings have become.